“Educating the mind without educating the heart is no education at all.” – Aristotle

Generally, society discourages us from being in touch with our emotions. Social media seems to encourage us only to show a happy face to the world. Professional work environments appear to promote those who act dispassionately.

However, being in touch with your feelings–both positive and negative–will make you a better and more complete person. By understanding your emotions, you will feel better about yourself. You will improve your confidence, knowing that you are not hiding behind a false front.

What does it mean to get in touch with your emotions?

One interpretation is being able to communicate emotions to others. A large part of emotional security is validating your own feelings by expressing them to other people.

When we choose to not to express our feelings, we punish ourselves and others. We may no longer make ourselves available to others and may withdraw, or just not be fully engaged when we do spend time with other people. At other times, if we choose not to express our emotions, we may react inappropriately because our emotions are pulling us in a different direction from where we really want or need to go. When we can express how we truly feel in healthy ways, we can solve problems, improve relationships, and enjoy life. In addition, we end up viewing our lives more positively because we are not holding on to unhealed or confusing feelings.

There are many reasons why we might feel the need to hold in our true feelings. We may feel we can’t express them without causing embarrassment or harm to another. We may not want to unleash our feelings out of fear that once we start, we will not be able to stop. But by letting our feelings out, we are letting out what hurts, while making more room for positive thoughts and feelings. Expressing our negative emotions in a way that is considerate of others people’s feelings is actually a good way to free us from them.

We can get better at knowing what we are feeling and why. This skill is called emotional awareness. Understanding our emotions can help us relate to other people, know what we want, and make choices. Even emotions we consider “negative” (like anger or sadness) can give us insight into ourselves and others.

Although emotional awareness comes more easily to some people than others, it is a skill that anyone can work on. Here are a few ways to improve your emotional awareness:

1. Notice and name your emotions. Start by just noticing different emotions as you feel them. Name them to yourself.
2. Track one emotion. Pick a familiar emotion — like happiness — and track it throughout the day. Notice how often you feel it and when. Whenever that emotion shows up, you can simply make a mental note to yourself or jot it down in a journal. Notice where you are, who you’re with, and what you’re doing when that emotion is present. Note whether the emotion is mild, medium, or strong and if it has different intensities at different times.
3. Build your emotional vocabulary. Try going through the alphabet and thinking of one emotion for each letter.
4. Think of related emotions that vary in intensity. See how many you can come up with.
5. Keep a feelings journal. Take a few minutes each day to write about how you feel and why. Journaling about your experiences and feelings builds emotional awareness. You also can express an emotion creatively. Make art, write poetry, or compose music that captures a specific emotion you’re feeling.

We all have emotions every day, even when we do not realize it. When we are able to be in tune with our emotions, we remain true to ourselves, and we help ourselves receive the support we need. Ignoring our feelings may be the easy choice in the moment, but it can have serious repercussions for our relationships and our mental health. Being in touch with our emotions can help us be more empathetic, know our strengths and weaknesses, make better decisions, and ask for what we need.